First Date Ideas (With Guidelines)

There is no shortage of advice on what a first date should or shouldn't be.  Add to that the complexity of it being the first date within an established relationship, and you’ll get all kinds of variations.  However, I believe that there are only a few truly acceptable “first dates” if you intend to be together for a long time (or if you already have been together for a long time).

A simple Google search for “First Date Ideas” will give you enough to get you started for anything.  I actually chose this week’s date from the top of the search results.  Seeing as how that is from a man’s perspective, here’s a good one from a woman’s perspective.  I don’t actually know the authors’ genders, I’m just assuming.  

The point made in the first list is one I have always subscribed to: conversation.  Any idea that eliminates the ability to actually talk to one another is a bad idea, especially if it is truly a first date.  

The next ingredient for a good idea is public setting!  Now I know this doesn't matter much when you’re already together, but it is still worth following.  Just think, if Date Night is going to help your relationship, that means at least one of a few things:

1. One or both of you don’t get out much.
2. One or both of you are too busy to go out.
3. One or both of you simply don’t care.

Whatever one applies to you, chances are that getting out into the world, where you can be seen spending time together, is going to help.  It’s hard to believe something is dying when everyone believes it’s thriving.  So get OUT!

The last ingredient is one I mentioned briefly yesterday (hint: Keep it short).  You have no idea how well things will go that first time around.  If your date is “totally into you”, then a short evening will only get him/her more excited for the next time.  This is true regardless of how long you've known each other.  If your date believes you are wasting their time, then a short evening will be refreshingly nice.  Now, I’m a little bit of a manipulator, so I know a thing or two about human reactions, and here’s another little secret: if your date doesn't want to be on the date, and it’s not agonizingly long, that nice, refreshing ending can actually turn things around in your favor.  Your date might think something like,

“I was afraid we would be there all night, and it would be awkward, and it would just be a horrible date, but it actually wasn't that bad.”

See, what has happened is that you have exceeded their expectations.  BUT!!...be careful!! You can instantly undo the effect by saying something like, “I told you it wouldn't be so bad.”  

DON’T SAY IT!!

Don’t say anything!

Just let them think it.

Now with all those ingredients in mind, here are what I consider to be some of the best of the best (most of these are included in other lists, I've simply eliminated the “bad” ones):

Arcade

Great for “getting your game on.”  If you grew up playing games, you don’t need convincing, you already know this is a great way to bond and get to know someone.  Just make sure you don’t choose an abandoned arcade...that defeats the purpose.

Bowling

You can talk in between throws or during.  You can take it serious, or play around.  And if you are better than your date, you can mix up your game to create a challenge and level the field. (We actually just did this on Halloween night, so it was too soon for me to do again).

Ice Skating

If you want to increase your chances for some physical interaction, this is your best bet.  Whether it be helping each other stay up, or shelter from the cold. (This struck me as the most interesting given my circumstances and relationship).

Mini-golf/ Driving range

In mini-golf, “skill” is no longer a factor.  Seriously, it’s not a sport, there is no such thing as a professional mini-golfer!  We are all equally horrible.  Other than that, it has all the recommended ingredients.

Museum

Here you can show off your intelligence (or learn everything you never knew you never knew).  It is also nice because, assuming there is one available, there are museums that showcase nearly all interests...it doesn't have to be boring!

Zoo/Aquarium

Much like a museum, only a little more interactive.  Not to mention, most zoo’s have some kind of show they put on throughout the day (so you can still be lazy if you really need to).

If you didn't notice the pattern, all of these ideas can end at any time.  You’re not restricted to a time schedule, waiting and wishing for it to end.  So if you pay attention, you can know if it’s going too long. (But don’t ask! If you suspect your date is ready to be done, be done!)  The other factor is that these activities allow you to be as serious or childish as your personality demands.  They really let the inner you, and the “inner-you” of your date, shine through!