When you go on a “first date” with your spouse, how exactly are you supposed to act? Is anything okay? Or should you treat each other like you would if you had just met? It’s an interesting dilemma.
I wouldn't say it was a problem, but it definitely made things interesting. We bantered back and forth, finding ways to combine “first date” jargon with our actual lives. The result was a conversation full of vague answers. That barrier finally came down once my wife mentioned that she was married!
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Getting ready for the event definitely gave an air of excitement that we haven’t had for a while. It felt very similar to the days of lust when preparing for that one date. That one that you had been waiting to go on for a long time...and with that one girl. I actually thought about what I was going to wear! For those of you who don’t know (everyone but my wife), I have all of my shirts on a rotation, and every morning, I simply put on the next shirt in the rotation. When I take it off, it either goes to the back of the cycle or the hamper. My pants and shoes are then decided based on what “goes best.” (Which involves a complex formula including how active or comfortable I intend to be for the day...I’m a programmer...what do you expect?! I digress.)
Anyway, I picked out something nice. I shaved with a razor. I even put on some cologne!! I know, right?!
I debated briefly if I should go outside and ring the bell once I was ready, but decided against it. I’m not quite ready to be that devoted to creating the facade. Instead I just knocked on the hallway door.
Once we were both ready, we left for the ice arena and quickly got our skates without a wait. It was more crowded than I had expected, but it really wasn't too bad.
The rest of the evening seemed to do everything we could have asked for, filled with similitudes and analogies. With our skates tightly strapped to our feet, we cautiously, yet determinedly, stepped out onto the ice. Much like one might expect of a couple embarking on a new journey.
We slowly pushed forward, often catching grooves in the ice and causing our strides to appear awkward and uncomfortable. Much like one might expect of a couple on their first date...or first anything really. It was exhausting and thrilling all in one. And strangely, even with all the other skaters on the ice, there was an aura of isolation that surrounded us, silencing the world around us. There in that little bubble, we were completely alone.
It did not take long before unused muscles began to protest. We ducked out into the nearest penalty box to rest our feet for a moment when shortly thereafter, we were all asked to leave the ice so it could be cleaned. Just in time too. Half of our efforts had been spent trying to stay out of the grooves that others had made in the ice. All the carvings of those who came before us. At first, it might seem beneficial to follow those clear paths. But you quickly learn that your path, and the paths of your “predecessors,” are never properly aligned. While they might provide support initially, they eventually uproot your footing.
Now that the ice was clean, we were able to start fresh. Sure there were still some scars left in that frozen floor, but the wounds were all healed. Now we were able to come at it with a fresh outlook, and a reinforced resolve.
Our learning curve was much higher on this smooth surface, and soon we were attempting new things. We went forward and backward and sometimes even sideways. We went fast and slow, together and alone, turning and stopping, then pushing off again. It was not the grace of Olympia, but it was the most beautiful sight in our realm of solitude. If nothing else, it reminded us of the world we were able to create with our own hands. Hands that we had begun to realize had grown feeble and weak from idle use.
At the height of our dance, the ice cracked! The internal walls, that have been slowly erecting themselves within our hearts over the course of only a couple years, crumbled ever so slightly and allowed a moment of passage between our two sanctuaries. The process of becoming one had finally begun.
In that moment of clarity and beauty, our physical faculties began to waver and give way to pain and exhaustion. It was time to be done. While the bitter taste of having to let go of that moment saturated our minds, the sweet flavor of that intoxicating moment filled and overpowered everything else. It would not soon be forgotten.
Unlacing our skates with wide grins stretching across our faces, we glanced toward one another now and then, knowing that this was not the end of a “good” night, but the beginning of a wonderful life!!
If you enjoyed this post, let me know! It was definitely a lot of fun to write (and longer than I had planned). Also, if you’re interested in what has been going on, please check out the posts from the past few days. I had to step back from being aggressive with my posts to keep things in perspective. You can also see the full details of this date's plan, along with my advice on the importance of planning.
Finally, I totally spaced the pictures!! Sorry! I’ll get better at that, but that’s a hard habit to make.
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