There are so many things to be said about “commitment” regarding relationships that it would be silly to approach them all in a single post.  When it comes to the single act of dating, however, the most importing thing to know is that dating lives and dies with commitment.

A few days ago, I presented an outline of my entire (dating) plan.  The very beginning of that post specifies 3 commitments that I've made regarding this project.  The best (and only) way I know how to stay committed is by creating detailed plans and a daily regimen.  See, my struggle may be odd to some, but it is not doing that I struggle with, it is figuring out what to do.  Date night typically doesn't happen because I can rarely think of something good enough by my standards!

So in order for this to succeed, the most crucial element is commitment.  And whether you are single, in a steady relationship, or married, this is where it all starts!

Phase 1 - Commitment

This is all about forming the habit.  Making the commitment to really date every week.  And not just making the commitment by word, but by deed.  This phase is about starting all facets of the plan, and sticking to them no matter what.  Show yourself, your partner, and the world that you really are doing this, not just talking about it.

Forming a habit takes time, but forming a routine does not.  Sticking to a routine takes time, but the secret really comes into play when you plan.  The habit we’re trying to form here is that of making plans to date every week, and at least attempting to follow through. It is not about actually executing a specific date plan 100% of the time.  And by having a plan at the ready, you can still throw it out the window in favor of spontaneity any time you like.

This phase can be short, but will likely be the longest one (cause starting sucks!).

Objectives:

• Make a plan for a date on a weekly basis.
• Keep a daily journal, or a simple notebook, with thoughts and processes regarding date planning (this forces you to actually think about it beforehand).
• Follow-through with 50-80% of the planned dates

Goals:

• Make a date plan for 8 consecutive weeks.
• Go on a date, every week, for at least 8 consecutive weeks, using at least half of the planned dates.

Time-Frame:

8-20 weeks.  This time is/will-be used to establish a “norm.”  This communicates to your partner that it isn't just a one-time deal, or a passing obsession.  This is a change in lifestyle, and at this point, that is the only thing we’re trying to establish.  This means that you’ll have at least gone on 8 dates in 8 consecutive weeks.

After 20 dates, it should be well established, and without a shift, things are going to become stale and fall out of place again (if they haven’t already).

If you don’t make the goal before 20 weeks, simply evaluate your progress and be honest about how serious you are about your commitment.  Commit yourself anew and either push through and accomplish that goal, or start over fresh...and accomplish that goal!