Starting Sucks

Let’s get one thing cleared up right from the get go…

I suck!

I suck at blogging.

I suck at writing.

I suck at dating.

I suck at my marriage.

I could list other things, but those are all that matter for this cause...and I don’t want to develop any insecurities here.  (BTW- this is not a solicitation for advice and tips.  Let me make my own mistakes, dag-nab-it!). The point is that the most difficult things to do almost always involve taking the first steps.

So, if I suck so bad at those things, why have I decided to start writing a blog about dating my wife?  Is the answer really not obvious?...it’s because I suck at those things!!

I know I will never get better at writing if I don’t do it.  I've known that for a long time, and truth is, I actually do quite a bit of writing.  So maybe I don’t suck as bad at writing, but I've never maintained a blog, so there is no question that I suck at writing posts.  But it has taken me until now to realize that the best way to get better at dating is to, well...date, duh!  (Maybe I suck at thinking too?!...don’t answer that!)

I’m no marriage counselor either (so don’t ask for advice), but I am smart enough to know that the direction mine is headed is slowly creeping to some dark areas that I’d rather not explore...ever!  Unfortunately, the nature of marriage is that you only get one to work with.  

Okay, you can argue in favor of divorce all you want, but to do so is missing the point.  The point is that you can’t get better at having a successful marriage by getting married over and over until you’re an expert.  That would be like saying you can get better at life if you just die and try again.  And let’s keep the reincarnation argument out of it.  Even if I did believe in it, I don’t know anyone who claims that you get to keep your past memories and experiences...see? Now I've drifted off-topic and the analogy no longer fits!  Fine...try this one...you don’t get better at your current job by quitting and finding a new one (now leave it alone and just think about how it does fit).

Enough hashing.  You get the idea.  I believe that I can change the direction through dating.  Dating my wife, of course.

Remember when you first met that special someone, and you would go out and have fun and...etc.?  We've all had those thoughts, and we've all taken trips down memory lane.  Hey, even when my wife and I started our marriage we committed to keep “date night” alive.  So what happened?  You all know the answer...say it with me now…

Life happened!!

Ha!  Since when did life become an excuse for not...living?  Don’t worry, I use it too...we can all feel guilty together.

Well, the good news is that dating is something I can practice and get better at.  Hence my (re-) commitment to Date Night.  What makes this time different?  Simple, I no longer expect to share the burden of planning dates and asking girls out (my wife...just trying to make it general) with anyone else.  It’s all on me.  No one to blame for the lack of dates, but me!

See, my wife, bless her heart, does most of the cooking and cleaning (she likes it, I swear!)  She has even agreed to shoulder the responsibility of diaper duty when the little ones come along (don’t ask when that will be...ever!  If you don’t know, neither do we).  Sounds great, right?  There’s no doubt she loves me.  And I do stuff too (honest!)  I manage the finances (even though she wishes I wouldn't).  And I’m the sole income provider (again, she wishes I wasn't), and it’s a happy enough income.  But if you’re thinking, “Holy crap!  He thinks he’s contributing and that’s all he does?!”  Well, don’t worry...I’m right there with you!  I am lazy, and it’s time I step up and do my part.  That first step is Date Night.

So the lesson to learn here is this:

If you want Date Night to happen in your marriage, then it’s time you step up and make it happen!

Here’s the nutshell!

Commitment to Date Night every week!

Commitment to post daily about planning, preparing, and executing each date

Commitment to provide tips, advice, and tools to help you plan dates based on my experiences throughout this journey (this probably won't come until later)

If you’re reading this as I begin my pledge, you’re welcome to follow the plan I have put together and try it out for yourself.  If you do, I would love to hear from your experiences as well.

If this post is now years old and you've just decided to pull anchor and shove off, chances are I probably don’t suck as bad anymore and I've actually managed to build a pretty awesome resource to help make your voyage easier and more enjoyable.

Either way, the time for excuses is over.  It’s time to step up and take responsibility for the outcome of your relationship.   

Here we can finally learn How to Date!