Worst First Date Ideas

I have been putting this post off for a few weeks now, but if I keep putting it off, it will no longer be relevant.  It’s probably already past that point though.  During the first week of planning, I compiled what I thought were the best ideas for first dates.  That process led me to think of a few bad first date ideas.  Just like good first date ideas, there are plenty of resources out there, ready to tell you which ideas are simply horrible.

Well, most of their “bad” ideas no longer apply to couples in a relationship...why would they?  After all, there are not many couples who find themselves in need of first date ideas, right?  So here is my list of what are the worst pitfalls.  Date ideas that you might think are a good idea since you know each other, but are bad ways to send the message that “things are going to be a lot different from now on.”

6) Family Outing

Every couple has family, whether it is your parents or your kids. Bringing them along on your first dates does not communicate that your partner matters most.  Bringing them on any date for that matter.  But if you are trying to tell your partner how important he or she is, your actions will betray your words and all your partner will hear is, “my family is more important than you.”  

Leave the kids at home and stay away from parents and siblings’ homes!

5) Hanging Out

This may not be readily understood by many guys out there right away.  A more proper term might sound something like “wingin’ it.”  The very difference between hangin’ out and dating is having a plan.  And winging it, by definition, means to go in head first without a plan.  

Many of you may complain about taking away the spontaneity.  That argument has always baffled me!  Just because you make a plan, it doesn't mean you have to follow it!  But I've covered this before.  The point is simple, important things (like a date with your partner) require forethought and preparation.  It doesn't matter how much, so long as you can show that your partner matters.

4) Fast Food

My wife loves tacos from Jack-In-The-Box.  Every time we go out of town to a destination that has a Jack-In-The-Box, we have to stop! (Yes, we picked some up on Thanksgiving night while we were in Idaho for a day).  You see, as far as I know, there are only two such locations in all of Utah...waaay down at the bottom of the state...far from where we live.

Why do I bother explaining this?  If I were to plan a date in which we ate Jack-In-The-Box tacos, that would be a good first date idea with my wife...even though it is fast food.  The kind of “fast food” that I’m talking about shows up in a conversation like this…

You: “Let me know when you’re hungry and we’ll go eat.”

(red flag!...shows you don’t have a plan)

Date: “I’m a little hungry, but I’m fine to go eat whenever.”

You: “Okay...what are you in the mood for?”

Me: *Face-palm*

“Fast food” means, “we gotta get some food, and fast!” It doesn't matter where you go.

3) Shopping

I’m not going to fall into a stereo-typing trap here, but if I were to randomly select one man from a group of many, the odds are in my favor to assume that he does not enjoy shopping.  And if he did, then I’m sure he does enough shopping on his own, that a shopping-themed date is hardly going to scream “special.”  But this is coming from my narrow-minded “I-personally-don’t-enjoy-shopping” mindset...I could be completely wrong here.

The bottom line doesn't change though.  Even I admit that shopping can be a fun experience if done right, BUT...when it comes to a “first date,” I can’t help but get the feeling that “shopping” is really just a code word for something else. I don’t know what that “else” might be, but surely there is a hidden agenda.

2) Movies

Whether it is at home or at the theater, you can always go wrong with a movie.  That doesn't mean that a movie will always go wrong, it simply means that there is always a better option.  Movies are fun.  They are exciting and relaxing.  They are the kind of thing you do with friends, not “supposed” lovers.  

You will be hard-pressed to change the dynamic of your relationship by “impressing” your partner with a date to the movies.  It robs you of the opportunity to communicate...something that a struggling relationship is probably already lacking.  

1) Sex

You’re “together,” so it’s okay, right?...wrong!

If there is one thing I've learned so far in my young marriage, it is that sex doesn't solve problems!  A struggling relationship likely needs more sex, to be certain!  But planning it into your “first dates” looks more like desperation than adoration.  Simply put, it looks selfish.  If your relationship is strong, then there is simply no reason to make a “date” out of it so early.  Show your variety, your interest in other things.  Show your partner that they’re more than that.

Establish the emotional connection before attempting the physical one!